I was in grade 7 (12 yrs old) and he was my first friend at the school, about 2 weeks into our friendship he started getting touchy and eventually he got me alone and raped me. I didn’t understand what was happening at the time, but when I did I was convinced that because he only did it when it was him and I that it was something I did, so I kept quiet. At the start of grade 10 I finally told someone that I was raped, but because it took me so long to tell someone they kept saying I must have wanted it or that I was lying/faking it. So when he started doing it again, i just kept quiet. I felt horrible having him do it to me every few weeks, I still feel horrible because I feel like I let it happen for those five years. Although he ended up moving out of the state last year and he hasn’t touched me since then, I was so terrified i refused to leave my room for anything other than school, i refused to walk anywhere and I was and still am terrified of being alive. I still don’t know if it’s my fault that it happened or not ):